v Wimbledon (A): 04 April 2009

Ho him, here we go again. For the last game of the season, we visited a ground which has the distinction of being your correspondent's favourite venue, but a ground where he has always lost. At least the post-match sauna helps ease away the pain of yet another defeat. Checking back through the records for this season, our previous away game this season against Wimbledon on a filthy wet day saw us play out a 9 goal thriller - to which we contributed 1. The omens were not promising. 

But this was different. With the warm spring sunshine smiling down on us, and the comforting presence of Bobby A, Paul M and Neil S to boost our regular ranks, we fancied it. The GMB danced around in the right place at the right time to ensure our kennel stayed clean through the early minutes, then we began to establish control in midfield. Then, even at this late stage of the season, we found a new phrase to add to this season's Lexicon of Improbable Tactics, the Parabolic Arc. There seemed little danger as a ball came in to their 'D'; from the right. But Maxie had other ideas. A swing of the stick and up she went, many a mile into the sky before dipping devilishly just behind their stranded 'keeper in a perfect parabolic arc (see?) and under the bar: 1-0 'Dogs. Then it got better. Richard S, making as much of a nuisance of himself on the left wing as he does at home, scampered down their left, drew the defender and wrongfooted the goalkeeper before laying the ball across an empty goalface for Maxie to add his, and our second. So far, so good.

HALF TIME: Wimbledon 0 'Dogs 2

Wimbldon tried to get back at us but their attacks grew less frequent and less convincing as they seemed to sense it wasn't going to be their day. Every 'Dog, regular and ringer, played his part in a really impressive team effort. Tight at the back, dominant in midfield and incisive up front, we gave them no way back in to the game. It was no more than we deserved when Richard S swept in from close range to put us into the dizzy heights of a clear 3 goal lead. The only remaining question was could the GMB finish a difficult season with a flourish and a second clean sheet? Oh yes he could. A couple of smart stops later, and some excellent teamwork at a series of defensive short corners, and we were there. Revenge was ours, big time. Over half the side who had left the same field 5 months earlier soaked through and defeated 8-1 by the same opposition now walked off in warm spring sunshine, to the score of:

FINAL SCORE: Wimbledon 0 'Dogs 3

The showers were as hot as ever: if only the sauna had been working, it might have been the perfect day. But it was more than good enough, as 'Dog Days go. As last year, we ran into form just as we ran out of season, finishing with successive good wins. The 'Dogs End of Season Curry later the same evening saw the following awards made to the Top of the Pups:

Young player of the year: Richard CRUDEN

Top goalscorer of the year: Richard SHELLY

Player of the year (including most creative use of the whole 'D' in frequent adversity): the top goalscorer's Old Man, the GMB

Congratulations to them, and hearty thanks to all those who have ensured - whether regularly or occasionally - that the Bulldogs have not only survived another season, but ultimately finished with a flourish. 

It would be remiss to sign off without recognising also the tireless contributions of:

1.  our captain, Peter Taylor, in good times and bad: the embodiment of all that is good about our Grass Conference: and 
2. Nigel Gallifant, who made sure we had as many games as possible. 

Thanks also to all our opponents, especially those who made long treks across South London, and beyond, to play us at Fortress Teddington. Being a Bulldog may not always be a story of constant success on the field (Amen to that - Ed), but it's never dull and always fun.

Good summer, all, see you in the autumn. But for now, it's woof woof from me.            

v Burnt Ash (H): 28 March 2009

Questions, questions, questions. Life is all questions, isn't it? For example, shouldn't it be 'Burned Ash? See what I mean? And the big question on this penultimate weekend of the 2008-09 season was 'can the 'Dogs beat anyone this season apart from, bizarrely, Kenley - twice'?

Burnt (not Burned) Ash provided the latest opposition and the omens were not good. Despite the distance involved, they all turned up long before our captain could issue his usual pre-match welcome to their captain of 'well, we are expecting 2 more, so we should be 11'. Sadly, we didn't end up with more than 10 but the 10 began very promisingly. The Old Silver Foxes down the right, Barry S and Maxie were in full chicken plucking (mind that spellchecker, please. Ed) mode, the 2 Richards showed precocious promise, yet again, and our defence - with Martin M back among us - did a good job of keeping them at bay. A hard fought first half looked destined to finish in that rarest of 'Dog scores - 0-0. But Maxie had other ideas. A clinical strike in the 'D' set 'Dog pulses a-racing and the backboard a-vibrating. We responded well to the inevitable Burnt Ash counter and held firm to reach the break in the unusual (first time this season, maybe? Ed) position of...    

HALF TIME:  'Dogs 1 Burnt Ash 0

Burnt Ash continued to put us under considerable pressure early on in the second half, but we held out. Then, when the reassuring presence of Donald D ('unbar' - not 'uck') arrived to bolster our ranks, the effect was immediate. They equalised. One of those 'least said, soonest mended', goals where the ball is saved, bobbles around a bit and they got there for a rebound a split second before our covering defender and, damn and blast, that was annoying.  And hereabouts we came under the cosh as they got a series of short corners. But, hey, we're pretty good at defending them - maybe it's all that practice we've had? And then, crucially, the weather turned in our favour. The dark clouds rumbled in and the biting cold wind was joined by a barrage of rain/sleet/hail/snow. But we're British and the calendar tells us it is officially spring, so on we all played. And since no-one is more used to being (careful please, Ed) p***ed on from a great height than the 'Dogs, we coped with the conditions better. It might also have helped that most of this stuff was blowing into their faces.  Anyway, we looked odds on for a well earned draw when, in the last minute a short corner was converted by ... Satbir! Yay! 2-1 'Dogs. And before even we could find an imaginative way to concede a second equaliser, the final whistle blew. Soggy but triumphant, we squelched our farewells to Fortress Teddington for this season with a hard fought win.

FINAL SCORE: 'DOGS 2 BURNT ASH 1

Well done to all for a good win against a good side. And with most if it achieved with only 10 'Dogs - including the Richard puppies - against 11, this was some result. Well done also to Burnt Ash for schlepping all the way over to us, for a great game played in the best of spirits in the worst of weather, and for an excellent eagle eyed referee. Cheers, guys!   

        

v Masonians (A): 14 March

Hmm ... bit of a tricky one, this. Masonians are a tidy outfit and we were 2 or 3 regular dogs short of the regular pack. Nonetheless, a team of youth and experience took the field with the usual 'so what, that was last week' nonchalence that typifies the Bulldogs. The good news was we were up for springing a bit of a surprise. The bad news was that, once we started, Masonians clearly had read another script.

And though we fought tigerishly (I'm lost: how can 'Dogs be tigerish? Ed), I would be, erm, 'lion' if I said we weren't 2nd best as their attack 'leopard' all over the place, overrunning our defence like thome kind of 'Panther' Tank. (That is your worst ever. Please stop it, now! Ed). Three well taken strikes rattled the backboard before half time, alas none from an orange shirted player. Thus we reached the break having not exactly shared evenly the first half goals, as follows:

HALF TIME: Masonians 3 'Dogs 0

Spurred on by the kind of 'we may not win, but let's give a good account of ourselves' half time talk we know so well from out eternally optimistic leader, we did indeed give a better account of ourselves after the break. Inspired by the capacity crowd of 5 people on their clubhouse balcony who weren't watching, and a baby who wouldn't stop cheering us on - oh alright then, crying - we did much better in the 2nd half.  Having conceded another goal shortly after the break, when the GMB found himself beaten at the 3rd attempt after 2 point blank saves, we decided attack was the best form of defence.  Our captain showed the way, interpreting his notional role as right back as an excuse to get to know their left back in their 22. Satbir was in one of his frisky moods and, as the shadows lengthened and the aged muscles cried for mercy, our trio of young scamps, Richard x 2 plus Shamin, carved them apart on several occasions. It was no more than we deserved when Satbir pulled back a late goal. We could even have had one or 2 more but, hey, we were well beaten overall, by the better side.

Woof woof to Masonians, see you next season.

FULL TIME: Masonians 4 'Dogs 1

          

v Addiscombe (H): 7 March 2009

Buoyed by our 2nd one match winning run of the season, a strong-looking 'Dogs side took the field against an always competitive Addiscombe. The balance didn't quite look right, but with so many instinctive forwards and so few natural defenders in our ranks, a high scoring game looked on the cards. So, in order to get our revenge in first, the 'Dogs started brightly. Richard S had a couple of scampish forays down the left, the returning Satbir popped up all over the place, Neil A and Richard C did all kinds of useful stuff in midfield, while Barry and Maxi rolled back the years with some deft combo's down the right. Curiously, though, when they had the ball, Addiscombe looked more dangerous. They had already had a couple of smart efforts thwarted when disaster struck. Now there are 2 versions to choose from, depending on whether you think (...careful please, let's not name names here, so let's call him, erm, 'DingDong': Ed), - ok then - whether you think DingDong might have done something differently:

Version 1/  DingDong stopped a ball very near our goal, didn't clear it, ignored the call to do so, got embroiled in a trial of strength with one of their strikers, was outskilled and outmuscled and we conceded a very soft goal, or 

Version 2/ (Dingdong's version) the ball went in - blame the goalkeeper. 

Undeterred, we continued to attack, looked solid at the back when they broke skilfully (bravo Paul B for one quite extraordinary full length point blank block, and to Nigel G and Andy E for telling interceptions), but neither we nor they could apply any more finishing touches.

HALF TIME: 'Dogs 0 Addiscombe 1

Various odd permutations in the 2nd half, including our injured captain guesting for them at right back (don't ask), failed to interrupt the flow of the game: we had much more of the possession, they created the genuine chances. We all had a nice long breather when Richard C took a fearful blow just above the knee and made an unscheduled visit to Teddington Hospital A & E, but even that unexpected respite couldn't inspire us to get at least one telling shot on goal.  Frustrating, very frustrating, but that was that.      

FULL TIME: 'Dogs 0 Addiscombe 1

Do we laugh or do we cry? Earlier this season, when we were contributing one goal to games which regularly featured 7 to 10 goals in total, we would have been overjoyed to keep good opposition to 1. But such is the upturn in our fortunes that this defeat was very frustrating and hard to take: we conceded one largely self-inflicted goal and had more than enough possession to create the chances to win the match. Hats off to Addiscombe, though, they played well and fought hard for their narrow win. And so to next week, and a match against Masonians, at a ground where this correspondent has never failed to come anything but 2nd best, but has always enjoyed the post-match sauna and showers. Expect more tears and laughter in a week or so, gentle DogBlog readers.   

v KENLEY (A) 28 February 2009

Roy Sullivan is an American, who probably has never seen a game of hockey in his life. But he plays a crucial role in this week's DogBlog. 

We made the journey to Kenley with high spirits, a useful looking team and some considerable apprehension. Somehow, we had managed an outrageously improbable 1-0 win against this lot at our place, since when their full team - yes, the same one we were now facing - had eased past the Desperados 5-1. It was no surprise, therefore, that the early play saw us come under considerable pressure. But we held out (if not exactly firm), then we came into it a bit more and some crafty play by our canny golden oldies saw Nigel Scandrett hammer the ball in. Hey!! 1-0 'Dogs. Not for long though. A rather unfortunate 'Oops, I thought you had that gap' moment from a defensive short and, well, you've guessed, it: 1-1. More pressure from them and a second goal but - no! - on referral, we got a lucky break and it stayed 1-1. Then we got another lucky break when a move begun by Peter on the right, with a hint of accidental feet, saw us venture into their 'D' again and this time the diminutive figure of our very own Boy Assassin Richard S swept us back into the lead. 2-1 'Dogs. A massive hit from Barry (how lovely to see you back among us, where you belong) boomed back miles off a traumatised left hand post but then it was huge pressure back on us again and, albeit from a rather unlucky rebound, they scored a far from undeserved 2nd equaliser. And looked all set for a 3rd (or even a 4th) when, to our immense relief, the whistle blew for the end of a right old harum-scarum 1st period.

HALF TIME: KENLEY 2 'DOGS 2

Where to go from here? We'd matched a very good side with some of our best hockey of the season. The GMB, Nigel, Dave C, Martin and a Thames Barrier of a guest defender, Matt, had shored us up at the back while, further upfield, the youthful vigour of the 2 young Richards had melded to great effect with our old silver foxes Nigel S, Rupert C and Barry, all expertly led by example by Cap'n Peter. Could we possibly pull off another unlikely result? Early signs were not good, as they found various ways of squandering a series of short corners. Then a rare moment of relief - and of pure magic - saw Richard 'the dribble' Cruden leave defender after defender in his wake. His deft flick into the 'D' was fired goalwards by Richard S and there, again, on the rebound was Nigel S. Un-be-lievable: 3-2 'Dogs! There was really only one side in it, but somehow they were losing. Surely that couldn't be it? But as time went by, and fruitless Kenley short corner succeeded fruitless short corner, we began to think that maybe lightning would strike twice and our rather unlikely home win would turn into the most improbable of 'doubles'. Time and again, something or someone got in the way (...mostly legally), as we continued to hold out. Finally, they seemed to lose heart a bit and we relieved the pressure. Then, the sweetest sound of the afternoon (apart from the giggles which followed GMB taking one in the visor early on in the first half) - the final whistle. I'm almost embarrassed to say...

FINAL SCORE: Kenley 2, 'Dogs 3

What to say? A quite magnificent performance from 11 'Dogs playing as a team. As for Kenley,well done lads: top sportsmen, great umpire, and the usual warm welcome in your lovely clubhouse. Thanks for everything. 

Well, lightning does indeed strike twice: for the second time this season they had murdered us, but failed to score the goals that would have proved it. Cheer up lads - Roy Sullivan (remember him, right at the start of this report?) was apparently struck by lightning 7 times and lived: an all-time record. Which means that, by my calculation, provided you continue to outplay us like this, we should stop mugging you by spring 2012. There's something to look forward to. All the best, and see you next season. 

Bet you can't wait.              

       

(v) Desperados: 14 February 2009

Four weeks since our previous foray onto the field, the 'Dogs took on our much loved NPL kennelmates (have you been drinking? Ed) for a love and peace St Valentine's Day extravaganza of flowing hockey (...you have been, haven't you! Ed).

Our regular ranks boosted by the comforting presence of Rajan, Paul M and Dev, we fancied our chances - until we saw Jiji had arrived and was able to run. Worse still, Gordon had that glint of merciless reverse stick in his eye (if you see what I mean) and Matt looked sharp and, dammit, this wasn't going to be so easy after all.  But wait! Hey, that's not a bad start is it, and we haven't conceded yet, have we, and - go on Rajan, bury it!  He did, and we were 1-0 up. Yoopeedoopeedoo!

Then, once again, we proved that everything goes wrong when we score first. Except when the opposition score first: then everything usually goes wrong too, just a bit quicker. And in the time it took me to type that, they scored, had a goal disallowed, but kept on scoring silly, soft goals and suddenly we weren't playing badly but - hang on, guys, isn't that 5-1 to them already?

It most assuredly was and, scarcely had Rajan had a rasping short corner goal disallowed for... for something or other (ask Oliver), then the half time whistle blew.

HALF TIME: 'Dogs 1 Desperados 5

A half time team talk cunningly disguised as collective puffing and wheezing (told you it had been 4 weeks since our last game) sort of did the trick. Spurred on by Neil A - a natural born 'Dog in guest Desperado clothing if ever I've seen one (Oooooh, controversial! Ed) - we had much the better of most of the second half and even gave them the runaround for long periods of it. And then, a bit of history, as our beloved stopper's 12 year old progeny became the first member of his family ever to be responsible for a goal at the right end of the field. A clinical finish at the far post, and Richard S had brought us back, most deservedly, to 5-2. And it didn't stop there. Still we pressed and, damn me if the same little fellow, somehow shrugged off the laws of physics to find a way through when faced by the significant obstacle of Ricky and, yes, Richard S scored again. Somewhere about now, Desperados stopped mucking about up front and popped in a 6th, too, just to make sure, probably while our goalkeeper was distracted as he tried to remember if he'd brought enough money with him to buy the 'my sons's 1st ever goals' jug.  We continued to press, but Desperados held firm, thanks in no small part to our own slightly worried goalkeeper's cries to his son of 'if you get a 3rd, you're walking home!!'  

So it ended:

FULL TIME: 'Dogs 3 Desperados 6

Ok, so they did us again: bravo to Jiji, Matt and Gordon, who scored a brace each. There's always next time, and a similar result, but ... but...

Winston of the Week: ...maybe tomorrow belongs to our joint Winstons of the Week: Richard S (now barely 998 goals behind Guy Jillings and closing fast) and Richard C. Both of them showed, in their toughest physical test yet, that they may already have what it takes to flourish at this level before, surely, their future paths take them to who knows what level.     

   

    

v Purley (A): 17 January 2009

Not terribly fresh from our Yuletide celebrations, and a bit short on numbers, the intrepid 'Dogs snuffled their way uncertainly into 2009 with a rather challenging trip to Purley. A backbone of trusty regulars, a smattering of youth, and a couple of guests, and off we went (erm, any chance of some hockey here?:  Ed.   You don't want to know - read on and you'll see what I mean: Dogblog Author).

Following a bit of homily from our GMB at the back, the 'Dogs held firm in those all important first few minutes, even showing a bit of promise up front. But any thoughts of an early surprise were rudely shattered by a well-taken Purley goal, at the 2nd (or was it 3rd?) attempt, following a short corner. Heigh Ho. Still, we battled, with Peter and Satbir devilling away in midfield and, oh - Richard S got that close to an equaliser - and his 1st ever 'Dog goal (it will surely come, my boy, it will surely come). But then we hit whatever the opposite is of a purple patch and conceded 3 quickfire goals of increasing softness. Peter then got a bit antsy and showed what it takes to be captain, swiftly identifying that the loss of 3 quick goals meant it was time to rollick the defence. So he did, and the freshly-rollicked defence responded by holding firm till half time.

HALF TIME: 'PURLEY 4 'DOGS 0

Reasoning that we might not win this one from such a challenging half way scoreline, we 'Dogs decided instead to play the best we could and see what happened. And what happened wasn't half bad. We tightened up at the back, conceding just one "what about all those ****** stick tackles in the build up, umpire?!" more goal, and threatening to open our own 2009 account on more than one occasion. The 2 Richards showed ridiculous cool and skill beyond their years, the equally youthful David R kept them keen down our right, the not quite so youthful Curt battled away on the left. Meanwhile, at the sharp end of things, Mike T, Nigel and Martin repelled most invaders and, behind them, the GMB produced a couple of smart pointblank stops - and emerged unscathed from a couple of interesting challenges (one in either half) that might have ended up in A+E. But, for all our endeavour, we couldn't get back at them so, after a lively and evenly matched 2nd half, we had to hold our hands up to a ...

FINAL SCORE: PURLEY 5 'DOGS 0

Bit of an odd one, this. the score suggests a thrashing, but it didn't feel like it. This is a strong Purley team (they're giving Wallington a run for their money, dammit) and, apart from a wobbly 10 minutes, we all but matched them. With the prospect of Ian G, Maxie, Barry S and Jimmy to come back and boost our ranks between now and Easter, we might lose more games than we win, but another win or 2 might yet be on the cards. And while most of us are just getting older, our youngsters are just getting better. Woof! Woof!

WINSTON(S) OF THE WEEK:  A shared award this week, between the 2 Richards. Special mention also to David R - a very close runner up. Big thanks to our guest players from Purley, and to Curt for helping us out in what was his 2nd game of the day. Finally - but my no means least - a big woof woof to Dave C for his excellent, low key (in all the right ways) umpiring. 

So to next week, where we begin with a promising looking scoreline of 0-0. But can we keep it up once the whistle goes for the start of the match? All will be revealed, in due time!