Now then, listen carefully, because it gets a bit complicated this week. We were a bit short of players, right? But then Desperados had their game cancelled and a few players available. But then we found out 1 or 2 occasional 'Dogs wanted back in the kennel too and - well, goodness me, suddenly we had an embarrassment of riches. The spectre of that rarest of rare Bulldog tactics - the rolling substitute - even threatened to raise its unfamiliar head, until fatigue and minor tweaks ... but I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here.
So a promising looking CombiBulldogs XI started with high hopes against perennially strong opponents from Purley. Not surprisingly, we took a bit of time to settle, especially at the back. GBB made two separate quickfire treble saves which no-one in an orange shirt seemed to notice, then a nifty one-on-one job when their forward looked odds on to score, this time drawing admiring cries of "Get up, you lazy *******" from his defenders. Huh, there's gratitude for you. But then we got up the other end and, bang, boom and hey presto - suddenly it was London bus time. Having waited over 3 games for a Bulldog goal, Rajan scored a beauty, Max added a second and then, dang me, with all the passengers already safely on the earlier buses (enough with the public transport imagery, thanks, I'm lost - Ed), Rajan added yet another. HALF TIME: BULLDOGS 3 PURLEY 0
Could we keep it going? The half time Bulldog faces - part disbelief, part knackered - suggested troubled times ahead. But with Neil, Rajan and Max playing so well up front, surely we had more goals in us. First, however, our defence would need to continue to do its stuff. At various times throughout the game we played 4 different pairs of fullbacks - combinations of Nigel, Colin, Martin L and Paul Bussetti. And didn't they all play well? But even so, Purley pulled one back with a well-struck shot from the top of the 'D'. But then Rajan eased our nerves with his 3rd sweet finish of the day, only for Purley to get another smart goal to peg us back to a nervy 2 goals clear. The tension rose: our capacity crowd of 9 (Paul Mangat, one other person I didn't quite recognise, 5 noisy parakeets and 2 unimpressed pigeons) could scarcely stifle their yawns. Rupert, Kevin G, Peter and James (fresh from the neighbouring football - don't ask) were towers of strength in midfield and, little by little, the time ticked away safely. Purley simply couldn't break through again. FULL TIME: BULLDOGS 4 PURLEY 2
Oh frabjous joy! A Bulldog win at last! Huge thanks to the Guestperados who gave everything for us to such good effect - Colin, Kevin, Martin, Neil A and Rupert: take a bow, boys. And well done Rajan for proving that a being a Bulldog is indeed not just for (before) Christmas: always great to have you with us; and to Paul B for another fine cameo appearance.
As for Purley - top blokes as ever and thanks for another good game - how nice it feels to beat you, for once. I've just Googled 'famous residents and Purley', so now conclude confidently: Bernard Ingram (formerly of 10 Downing Street), Francis Rossi (...are Status Quo still going?), Dot Cotton, Derren Brown, 'Terry and June' - your boys took one helluva beating!
Winston of the Week: keep up, dammit - the boy scored a hat trick, for goodness' sake. Well done again, Rajan.
Saturday, 23 February 2008
Saturday, 16 February 2008
Addiscombe (A): 16 February 2008
Problems, problems, problems. 2 weeks after our lacklustre loss to Masonians, 1 week after our spirited narrow defeat to Wallington, which Bulldogs would turn up today? Funnily enough, that was the question our gallant captain was asking himself as he and just one other Bulldog stood ready 15 minutes before scheduled pushback time. Never fear! One by one we came, late but unbowed, with various tales of dreadful traffic and dodgy trains. Mind you, Addiscombe were hardly quick out of the blocks either, so it was a good job it was a nice sunny afternoon, with the prospect of a late sunset.
Now here comes the tricky bit. The game got a bit heated, especially after half time, but the captain has told your correspondent this report must not be - and I quote - too spicy. So I've clicked a few never-before-used buttons on my keyboard and, apparently, if the language from now on goes beyond the acceptable, the computer will automatically replace any offending words with the name of a fruit. Sounds a PLUMing silly idea to me (...BANANA me, it works!)
And so to the game. A funny first half, really. They put us under all sorts of pressure early on but we stood firm, then we had a spell where we dominated - good stuff from Ian, backed up by Curt and Neil and a mighty useful guest right winger called Phil. But then they got on top again and, after a few 'heart in mouth' moments, we then had that oh so familiar feeling of a 'ball in our goal' moment. Despite a further mini revival, we could only play what is known by some as Keira Knightley hockey - very pretty, but not as much as you'd like to see up front from your twin strikers. HALF TIME: Addiscombe 1 Bulldogs 0
Addiscombe had been a bit fired up in the first half - more than once they had got in hearty yahoos a wee while after the whistle had been blown, especially in our 'D'. So the 2nd half threatened to become a bit testy if they did it again. But first, a cheeky shot from the top of our 'D' - well before any whistle, alas - crept just inside our right hand post, doubling our deficit. Then Addiscombe did smack the ball again a bit after the whistle. Neil - for the 2nd time - got hit and decided he'd not feel safe carrying on. So off he went. It's always disappointing to see a MANGO (keyboard my GRAPEFRUIT! You've just made that one up - stop it, you silly PEAR! Ed) in this way, but Addiscombe kindly lent us another Phil. By now, however, we were under ever more pressure. Peter, Jimmy and James - like a manic sheepdog on Red Bull - held them up well, and when they got through them, Nigel and Mike were in stubborn mood at the back. And behind them, GBB wasn't in the mood to concede a cricket score either. So we didn't. But neither could we score, despite a late rally and some very near misses. FULL TIME: Addiscombe 2 Bulldogs 0
PINEAPPLE, FIG and SATSUMA it - another defeat. But plenty to be proud of. We refused to buckle and, once again, defended with real heart. For the 3rd game in a row, we conceded countless short corners but defended them all successfully. The goals against are now relatively few and, frankly, mostly avoidable: we seem to keep out the most dangerous-looking chances. What we really need is a lucky break or 2 in front of our opponents' goal. But the noses are still suitably moist and the tails wag proudly. Team spirit is still high, even after a horrible run of results this year. Surely every (Bull)dog will have his day soon.
Winston of the Week: Mike, for a cussed and highly effective performance at the back (and for saying "PEACH it!!" very loudly just the once when he got caught a fearful whack on the ankle by a full-blooded shot on goal).
Now here comes the tricky bit. The game got a bit heated, especially after half time, but the captain has told your correspondent this report must not be - and I quote - too spicy. So I've clicked a few never-before-used buttons on my keyboard and, apparently, if the language from now on goes beyond the acceptable, the computer will automatically replace any offending words with the name of a fruit. Sounds a PLUMing silly idea to me (...BANANA me, it works!)
And so to the game. A funny first half, really. They put us under all sorts of pressure early on but we stood firm, then we had a spell where we dominated - good stuff from Ian, backed up by Curt and Neil and a mighty useful guest right winger called Phil. But then they got on top again and, after a few 'heart in mouth' moments, we then had that oh so familiar feeling of a 'ball in our goal' moment. Despite a further mini revival, we could only play what is known by some as Keira Knightley hockey - very pretty, but not as much as you'd like to see up front from your twin strikers. HALF TIME: Addiscombe 1 Bulldogs 0
Addiscombe had been a bit fired up in the first half - more than once they had got in hearty yahoos a wee while after the whistle had been blown, especially in our 'D'. So the 2nd half threatened to become a bit testy if they did it again. But first, a cheeky shot from the top of our 'D' - well before any whistle, alas - crept just inside our right hand post, doubling our deficit. Then Addiscombe did smack the ball again a bit after the whistle. Neil - for the 2nd time - got hit and decided he'd not feel safe carrying on. So off he went. It's always disappointing to see a MANGO (keyboard my GRAPEFRUIT! You've just made that one up - stop it, you silly PEAR! Ed) in this way, but Addiscombe kindly lent us another Phil. By now, however, we were under ever more pressure. Peter, Jimmy and James - like a manic sheepdog on Red Bull - held them up well, and when they got through them, Nigel and Mike were in stubborn mood at the back. And behind them, GBB wasn't in the mood to concede a cricket score either. So we didn't. But neither could we score, despite a late rally and some very near misses. FULL TIME: Addiscombe 2 Bulldogs 0
PINEAPPLE, FIG and SATSUMA it - another defeat. But plenty to be proud of. We refused to buckle and, once again, defended with real heart. For the 3rd game in a row, we conceded countless short corners but defended them all successfully. The goals against are now relatively few and, frankly, mostly avoidable: we seem to keep out the most dangerous-looking chances. What we really need is a lucky break or 2 in front of our opponents' goal. But the noses are still suitably moist and the tails wag proudly. Team spirit is still high, even after a horrible run of results this year. Surely every (Bull)dog will have his day soon.
Winston of the Week: Mike, for a cussed and highly effective performance at the back (and for saying "PEACH it!!" very loudly just the once when he got caught a fearful whack on the ankle by a full-blooded shot on goal).
Saturday, 9 February 2008
Match Report: Wallington (H): 09 February 2008
The trouble with sassy 11 year olds is they don't miss a trick. So I was explaining to my Richard about the next Bulldogs game - played like a bunch of camels last week at Masonians, Wallington at home next up - and he paused (always a very bad sign in one his age), before concluding "So it's gonna be like David versus Goliath, minus the catapult, right?". The little (careful, please: Ed) ...fellow got it spot on, didn't he? .
Unfazed by such precocious realism, a litter of Bulldogs took to the field on a beautiful spring day, on a lush and fine looking surface. Damn and damn again - where are those wafer thin alibis when you really, really need them. Oh yes - got it! I didn't mention that 2 of our players Peter and Jimmy could barely walk, or that we had a charming but distinctly, well, female, left wing called Jenny, did I? So it was that our motley crew of Bulldogs faced up to the Conference's meanest and most ruthless, the phrase "double figures by half time?" running through more than one canine mind.
But what was this? 10 minutes in and where was our usual absurd early goal gift to the oppo? No sirree, not today. Nigel and Mike made sure that the inevitable early scares were within the GBB's range, while Ian - back from injury and skiing (don't ask: Ed), Barry and Jenny - who turned out to be one hell of a battler, gave them plenty to think about their end of the field. Not much was getting through, James, Jimmy and Peter - on his good leg and a half. And linking our rearguard and vanguard was the reassuring and welcome sight of Dev, playing out of his skin. Yes, we were second best of course, but a damn fine 2nd best. Their only goal of a relatively even 1st half came, most unluckily, from a rebound which James then all but saved brilliantly on the line. HALF TIME: Bulldogs 0 Wallington 1
All our fears that we might have annoyed them a bit by keeping it down to 1 were soon allayed as the 2nd half followed a similar pattern. We kept them out and came close their end. But we were under more pressure than them so a 2nd goal - big aerial ball into our 'D', round GBB and boom into goal (yeah, yeah, we'll give you that one) - was no surprise. But there it stopped. And do you know what? We didn't half give them some scares, too. So a final score of huge respectability against such a fearsome opponent: FULL TIME: Bulldogs 0 Wallington 2
Another defeat, ok, but of a totally different nature from our marshmallow attempts the previous week at Masonians. A bit more of this, and a win or 2 surely should come our way before we crack open the Easter Eggs and put our feet up for the summer.
Winston of the Week: Max, for a tireless performance in attack and defence (but a special mention and huge Bulldog thanks also to Jenny, a ringer of a winger - with commendably strong views on post match shower protocol, too. Don't worry - buy her a beer and I'm sure she'll tell you what I mean).
Unfazed by such precocious realism, a litter of Bulldogs took to the field on a beautiful spring day, on a lush and fine looking surface. Damn and damn again - where are those wafer thin alibis when you really, really need them. Oh yes - got it! I didn't mention that 2 of our players Peter and Jimmy could barely walk, or that we had a charming but distinctly, well, female, left wing called Jenny, did I? So it was that our motley crew of Bulldogs faced up to the Conference's meanest and most ruthless, the phrase "double figures by half time?" running through more than one canine mind.
But what was this? 10 minutes in and where was our usual absurd early goal gift to the oppo? No sirree, not today. Nigel and Mike made sure that the inevitable early scares were within the GBB's range, while Ian - back from injury and skiing (don't ask: Ed), Barry and Jenny - who turned out to be one hell of a battler, gave them plenty to think about their end of the field. Not much was getting through, James, Jimmy and Peter - on his good leg and a half. And linking our rearguard and vanguard was the reassuring and welcome sight of Dev, playing out of his skin. Yes, we were second best of course, but a damn fine 2nd best. Their only goal of a relatively even 1st half came, most unluckily, from a rebound which James then all but saved brilliantly on the line. HALF TIME: Bulldogs 0 Wallington 1
All our fears that we might have annoyed them a bit by keeping it down to 1 were soon allayed as the 2nd half followed a similar pattern. We kept them out and came close their end. But we were under more pressure than them so a 2nd goal - big aerial ball into our 'D', round GBB and boom into goal (yeah, yeah, we'll give you that one) - was no surprise. But there it stopped. And do you know what? We didn't half give them some scares, too. So a final score of huge respectability against such a fearsome opponent: FULL TIME: Bulldogs 0 Wallington 2
Another defeat, ok, but of a totally different nature from our marshmallow attempts the previous week at Masonians. A bit more of this, and a win or 2 surely should come our way before we crack open the Easter Eggs and put our feet up for the summer.
Winston of the Week: Max, for a tireless performance in attack and defence (but a special mention and huge Bulldog thanks also to Jenny, a ringer of a winger - with commendably strong views on post match shower protocol, too. Don't worry - buy her a beer and I'm sure she'll tell you what I mean).
Saturday, 2 February 2008
Masonians (A): 02 February 2008
A kennelful of 'Dogs weaved their winsome way (enough with the alliteration already: Ed) to Wimbledon (...final warning: Ed) to confront Masonians, full of optimism. And why not? Our 2nd away game of 2008 with just one away defeat so far this calendar year, buoyed by our stunning one match unbeaten run: what could go wrong?
So confident were we that we took the field with 9 players, plus a home team guest - a ringer called Phil. So far, so good. Then Avni went and blew the whistle for the start of the game and, well, things began to go a bit off plot. Masonians are really very good. At everything except maths. Stay with me here - they attack with about 9 players, right? Then they defend with about 7, and they still have left over about 4 or 5 really skilful midfield players who link it all up. Somehow - and I've checked this several times - that still doesn't add up to more than 11. Fortunately, it being a sunny afternoon, there were shadows for us to chase and, boy, did we spend the 1st half doing so. Truth be told, we're all still carrying a wee bit of surplus midriff after Christmas/New Year so we were, at least, able to defend ...stoutly (ok, you win - go back to the alliteration if you must, but spare us the contrived puns: Ed). Nonetheless, Masonians breached us twice: first with a neat 'skip round the keeper and ...dink!' job, then with a rising piledriver that would have entered the net with body parts attached had GBB been unwise enough to get in the way. HALF TIME: Masonians 2 Bulldogs 0
We knew the next goal would be crucial, but it came from an unlikely source. GBB looked favourite to cut out a killing through ball but, somehow, he succeeded only in trapping it neatly and most obligingly for an oncoming Masonian. And before you could say 'where have all our visitors gone all of a sudden?' said opposition forward had rolled it gently into an unguarded net. Surely things couldn't get worse? Come off it, we're talking Bulldogs here - we love a challenge. So they did get worse. While we defended heroically to keep their score - most improbably - to 3, we blew a couple of gilt edged chances the other end. No names, of course, but I'm guessing someone whose name might be an anagram of Maul Pangat would like to forget his saved p flick, while someone else, whose name might be an anagram of xaM, will want to forget his airshot in front of an open goal. Did I mention they kept attacking but we managed to keep it down to 3? Well they did, and we did (if you get me) and that was that. FINAL SCORE: Masonians 3 Bulldogs 0
Harrumph. Any positives? Well, James kept running as only he can; Mike, Nigel and our gallant injured captain performed heroics at the back; Paul M - great to have you with us - showed glimpses of what might have been; Jimmy, Max and Barry fought tigerishly in defeat. We never gave up and, despite a collective off day, were far more competitive than we had been at our place earlier this season when, embarrassingly, they all but declared when already 5-0 up some time before half time. And again, we socialised hard and fair afterwards in the name of NPL, enhancing our reputation as the complete hockey team in all but the bit on the pitch. Huge thanks to our guest 'Dog, Phil the Masonian, who took a perverse delight in playing a blinder against his own club. Finally, we had a bad day - but at least we didn't blow a 19-6 lead with less than 30 minutes to go. Ha!
Winston of the Week: the captain's choice was GBB, presumably for cheering us all up with their ludicrous 3rd goal, and then for one or two better moments once all was already lost.
So confident were we that we took the field with 9 players, plus a home team guest - a ringer called Phil. So far, so good. Then Avni went and blew the whistle for the start of the game and, well, things began to go a bit off plot. Masonians are really very good. At everything except maths. Stay with me here - they attack with about 9 players, right? Then they defend with about 7, and they still have left over about 4 or 5 really skilful midfield players who link it all up. Somehow - and I've checked this several times - that still doesn't add up to more than 11. Fortunately, it being a sunny afternoon, there were shadows for us to chase and, boy, did we spend the 1st half doing so. Truth be told, we're all still carrying a wee bit of surplus midriff after Christmas/New Year so we were, at least, able to defend ...stoutly (ok, you win - go back to the alliteration if you must, but spare us the contrived puns: Ed). Nonetheless, Masonians breached us twice: first with a neat 'skip round the keeper and ...dink!' job, then with a rising piledriver that would have entered the net with body parts attached had GBB been unwise enough to get in the way. HALF TIME: Masonians 2 Bulldogs 0
We knew the next goal would be crucial, but it came from an unlikely source. GBB looked favourite to cut out a killing through ball but, somehow, he succeeded only in trapping it neatly and most obligingly for an oncoming Masonian. And before you could say 'where have all our visitors gone all of a sudden?' said opposition forward had rolled it gently into an unguarded net. Surely things couldn't get worse? Come off it, we're talking Bulldogs here - we love a challenge. So they did get worse. While we defended heroically to keep their score - most improbably - to 3, we blew a couple of gilt edged chances the other end. No names, of course, but I'm guessing someone whose name might be an anagram of Maul Pangat would like to forget his saved p flick, while someone else, whose name might be an anagram of xaM, will want to forget his airshot in front of an open goal. Did I mention they kept attacking but we managed to keep it down to 3? Well they did, and we did (if you get me) and that was that. FINAL SCORE: Masonians 3 Bulldogs 0
Harrumph. Any positives? Well, James kept running as only he can; Mike, Nigel and our gallant injured captain performed heroics at the back; Paul M - great to have you with us - showed glimpses of what might have been; Jimmy, Max and Barry fought tigerishly in defeat. We never gave up and, despite a collective off day, were far more competitive than we had been at our place earlier this season when, embarrassingly, they all but declared when already 5-0 up some time before half time. And again, we socialised hard and fair afterwards in the name of NPL, enhancing our reputation as the complete hockey team in all but the bit on the pitch. Huge thanks to our guest 'Dog, Phil the Masonian, who took a perverse delight in playing a blinder against his own club. Finally, we had a bad day - but at least we didn't blow a 19-6 lead with less than 30 minutes to go. Ha!
Winston of the Week: the captain's choice was GBB, presumably for cheering us all up with their ludicrous 3rd goal, and then for one or two better moments once all was already lost.
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