v PURLEY (A): 10 October 2009

Life, eh? Don't mention it, as Marvin the Paranoid Android tells us. There are few certainties in life, but here are 3 for you:

1/ Income Tax demands always come just when you don't want them

2/ Toast always falls butter and jam side down on the carpet

3/ 'Dogs always play badly at Purley, concede shedloads of silly 1st half goals and lose heavily.

So it didn't look good when our 2nd game of the season duly took us 'Dogs off to one of our many nemesises - no, erm, nemeses - no, erm let me think about this one. Got it: ...to one of those places we never seem to do very well.

But as in our game the previous week, we started well enough. Then, it was as if we had remembered that the Income Tax demand had arrived unexpectedly and that the carpet fibre-laden jam and butter hadn't tasted very nice on the morning toast and (What the hell are you on about? ED) bish, bash, bosh, crump. Yup, quicker than you can say 'uh oh: much more of this and our captain will kill someone' we shipped our habitual 4 goal nightmare of a first half:

HALF TIME: Purley 4 'Dogs 0

Last year, after conceding 4 soft first half goals at Purley, we proved it wasn't a fluke by conceding a fifth early after the break. But not this year. Buoyed by the nonchalance of players well versed in turning it on when 4-0 down (ha! Pity you can't turn it round when you're 4-0 down. ED), we dominated much of the second half with some lovely stuff but couldn't find a goal. But Purley is as Purley must so, 2 minutes from time, we duly conceded another frustratingly avoidable goal to finish well and truly beaten:

FULL TIME: Purley 5 'Dogs 0

A wag of the canine tail in the direction of Jimmy who, having come many a mile, put in an honest and hardworking performance as umpire. Frankly, he didn't deserve the constant moans and backchat he got from at least one of our thoroughly ungracious hosts (you played well guys and beat us fair and square - but lose the attitude, eh?). Given that the chief culprit then studiously ignored and walked straight past the outstretched hand of one of our youngsters after the final whistle, too, (...nice example, feller) it wasn't frankly, a very memorable day. But we will welcome them back to Fortress Teddington later this year for a rematch, because that's the 'Dog way.