v WALLINGTON (H): 18 October 2008

A bright and shiny kennelful of 'Dogs took the field to face the ultimate challenge in Conference Hockey -  Wallington - with high hopes and expectations. Sadly, they saw through our first tactic (start the game with 12 on the field - ha!), so we began at the distinct disadvantage of 11 against 11. Early skirmishes looked ominous. Wallington passed the ball around sweetly from the word go and seemed to cut through to, then past, our back line at will. We duly conceded the first goal of the game (a tradition in Dogs/Wallington games).

And then we did something really, really stupid. Not just 'seemed like a good idea at the time' stupid, more like ' let's pull the sleeping hungry tiger's tail really hard when we're locked in his cage' stupid [sorry, where is this one going? Ed]. That's right, we equalised.  In mitigation, it didn't look like we meant to - it all came from a comfortingly familiar monstrous mess of an attacking short corner. But we regained possession, swung it in and Adey - a more than useful newcomer to 'Dog ranks - turned it past their startled goalkeeper. Talk about not in the script.

What next? You've guessed it.  They were not very happy at all. In any way.  So they absolutely mullered us for the remaining seven hours and forty six minutes (...well, it felt that long) of the first half.  In all they managed seven more successful strikes - five on our goal and 2 on a prone GMB, the latter of which challenges led to a brief but lively exchange between several of our defenders and their striker. So, a half time score of 'look away now if you scare easily' proportions read:

HALF TIME: 'Dogs 1 Wallington 6

A subtly changed and determined 'Dogs side started the 2nd half. And, in the context of the game before half time, we performed wonders. That old (...and how) familiar back 3 combo of Nigel, Mike T and the GMB were stopping what little got past Jiji and the goals against, mercifully, slowed to a trickle. Just twice more in the second half were we breached: a near post hat-trick piledriver from a particularly up-for-it Willie (if you'll pardon the expression) and a ludicrously simple team move of shocking brilliance which left 2 of their players squabbling for the final touch as the ball yawned its way languidly towards, then over, our worn out goalline. And then even Avni had seen enough, so the fun ended.

FULL TIME: 'Dogs 1 Wallington 8

Positives? Well, we got to the other end surprisingly often and could, maybe should,  have had another 2 or 3 goals. There were great 'Dog Debuts in adversity from goal scoring Adey and a tireless Martin on the right. Peter was General Custer personified on the left and others did their bit. But, let's be honest here, we were hammered by a very good side playing near their clinical best. 

So it was that a somewhat chastened, less bright, and distinctly dulled kennelful of 'Dogs left the field having faced the ultimate challenge in Conference Hockey - Wallington. All hopes and expectations well and truly dashed. But hey, we haven't got a game next week - Kenley Tournament - so will take our proud unbeaten away record into November, when we face the delights of Wimbledon, sloping pitch, sauna, carpeted changing rooms and all. Bring it on!    

 

  

v Blackheath (A): 11 October 2008

One of the problems of having a 12 year old livewire around the house is that the little ... fellow now wins at Scrabble far more often than is bearable.  So I've done a bit of crafty research and come up with the following rather useful 7-letter words beginning with 'P': paucity, perhaps, partake, purview. And, to show I've really done my homework, I'll use all 4 words in the following match report [Hooray! You mean you're actually going to get round to talking hockey?  Ed].

An optimistic if limited Pack of 'Dogs made their way to Blackheath for a tricky looking fixture. Indeed, the paucity of availability meant we turned up with just 6: Peter, the GMB, Mike T, Ian G, Ian's son James, and James's mate - Josh (a bit of a ringer, and boy could he run!). So we thought that if we turned on the charm a bit - and mentioned last week's mugging by Purley - they might perhaps lend us a couple of players.  This they did, reducing their 10 to 8 and evening up the sides.  So, with an evenly spread, but somewhat limited, dusting of 16 players scarcely covering their fine playing surface on a beautiful day, we all decided to partake of some exercise [Ouch - that was lame! Ed].

Curiously, for a game short of players and big on space, the goals did not come.  Both stoppers were having a bit of a good day, both attacks suffered a bit from over-excitement at the yawning gaps not normally found so often when 11 play 11.  So, after (what felt like frankly, a very, very long) 35 minutes of near misses on their goal - notably from a sprightly Ian G - and some rugged last ditch defending around our goal from Mike T and our 2 admirable guests, Aidan and Chris, we reached a most improbable position of:

HALF TIME: Blackheath 0 'Dogs 0

And so it carried on for the opening period of the 2nd half, too. A bumper partisan home crowd of fully 6, possibly 7, failed to unnerve our defence.  Worse still, for them, Ian G then lowered the periscope and took his foot off the gas a bit (if you get my mixed metaphor - or is a simile? Never mind) and steered us not once but twice into an unexpected and unfamiliar Promised Land, as 0-0 begat 1-0 'Dogs, and 1-0 'Dogs begat 2-0 'Dogs. Amen to that we thought - alas, too soon. Mike T decided our good natured game was for too genteel for his liking and proceeded to stop their player with a challenge which left said opponent counting his limbs and digits. Once the vital body parts check had been successfully completed, and their umpire had given Mike a stern ticking off, we all had to wait while the GMB went through his extensive pre-P-flick repertoire of twitches, wanders, diffident looks, crashes and bangs around the goalframe etc.  But dang me - it worked! Confused (and possibly a bit bored?) by this idiosyncratic delay, their player obligingly flicked within the GMB's range and the subsequent save produced the not so rare sight and sound of the GMB's extensive post pre-P-flick save routine of twitches, wanders, exuberant whoopings, crashes and bangs around the goalframe etc.

2 up with under 10 to play - and a missed flick by them: surely nothing could go wrong. Well, as Sir Sean Connery (or maybe it was that other bloke who's not as popular with the ladies as Daniel Craig) once said 'Never Say Never'. So we duly conceded 2 smart late goals, one a clinical finish to a mazy dribble, the other a neat flick over a prone (probably sunbathing) GMB. And then we only just avoided conceding a late winner. But there, mercifully, it all ended.

FINAL SCORE: Blackheath 2 'Dogs 2

A game we should have won but might have lost. So we'll settle for the draw which preserves our proud unbeaten away record this season in the Conference after no fewer than 1 game. Huge thanks to Blackheath for a competitive and enjoyable game (and a splendid post match curry), and well done to all 6 regular 'Dogs who fought like, well, dogs, to achieve a very respectable draw against good opposition on a large playing area on a hot afternoon.

WINSTON OF THE WEEK: shared by our 2 outstanding guest players, Aidan and Chris, who took a more than healthy delight in playing out of their skins against their regular team mates. And a small woof of recognition to Ian G, too, for his first 2 well-taken goals of the new season. More of the same again soon, sir, please.

[Ha! You're still one 7-letter 'P' word short. Ed...]

Feedback is always welcome on these 'DogBlogs, so do post any comments you may have on this purview of today's events, or any other earlier reports.

[...I wish I'd never mentioned it. Ed]      

             

v Purley (H) 4 October 2008

v Purley (H) 4 October 2008

Fresh from our semi-triumphant season opener, and buoyed by the support of Winstons Big and Small (come and watch us play if you're a bit lost here), the 'Dogs opened the official 2008-9 Conference Season with a home game against Purley.

It was, frankly, a bit of a whirl, what with 2 very similar kits and ever arriving familiar faces to boost the canine ranks. So much so that we passed both our first 2 attacking short corners to their defenders and, having initially defended their first short corner, then lost the ball, the plot and the first goal of the new season, in that order. Ho hum, 1-0 down after not very long. But hey - that's hardly new territory for us, is it? So we attacked again, only for them to score a second after another post short corner ding dong all around our 'D'.  By now Purley were looking very slick and what looked like a good Bulldog side on paper didn't look quite so hot on grass.  And from bad to worse: 2 more beautifully executed Purley goals - albeit of the distinctly 'try all season and I bet that doesn't come off for you again' variety - meant that, after just 35 minutes, we were already looking forward to Easter 2009 [don't you mean 'looking forward to the half time whistle'? Ed.  No I don't. DogBlog Author).

HALF TIME: 'Dogs 0 Purley 4

Inspired by a half time break free from Vitamin C, the 'Dogs set about our challenging 2nd half comeback with some relish.  And, do you know what?  For a while, we stopped trying for the killer pass and settled instead for a bit of possession.  And then, what do you know? A smart shot was stopped by their irritatingly sound keeper but Neil S was there to sweep in, on the rebound, for the 1st 'Dog strike of Season 2008-09.  Woo-hoo!  Just 3 more goals to go.  Now for one of those good news/bad news moments.  Good news: the game did indeed produce 3 more goals. Bad news: sadly, none of them for the 'Dogs.  A cruel rebound finish after a quite brilliant goalline stop from Mike T (which produced the first - but surely not the last - audible cry this season from a 'Dog defender of ".... it !") and 2 open play piledrivers of truly Gordonesque proportions put some seriously bitter icing on the stale cake of a [Pur-lease! Enough of the similes. Ed] scoreline, which ultimately read:

FINAL SCORE: 'Dogs 1 Purley 7

Stranger and stranger, though.  Somehow this defeat didn't feel as bad as any number of our early 2008 oh-so-tame 2 or 3 goal defeats, where we barely threatened a shot on goal.  We lost by 6 but it could easily have been more: curiously we defended quite well.  The battle was lost further upfield. We were at times competitive but Purley were frankly very, very good and, on the day, completely clinical and worthy winners by a country mile. Not many others in the Conference would have lived with them, especially this early in the season.  Fair play to you lads: well done and we look forward to seeing you again later in the season. Especially if you bring along again that quite delightful young blonde lady supporter in the very fetching New Zealand All Blacks sweatshirt [...and with a very elegant diamond engagement ring, too!! Ed].

Bloodied but unbowed, the 'Dogs look forward with ridiculously misplaced optimism to our next game. But then again - you never know...

Winston of the Week: a tear comes to my canine eye as I record that GMB Junior, Richard Shelly, came on for the last 5 to make his Bulldog debut at the tender age of 12 years and barely 35 kilos, bless him. And for a couple of neat - nay, precocious - touches, and for being the only Bulldog not to see a goal conceded while he was on the field, he became possibly the youngest ever Winston of the Week. [Just a thought - is he any good in goal? They say it slips a generation. Ed]   

  

v Desperados (H/A): 27 September 2008

NEW SEASON 2008-09 !!! 

v Desperados (H/A): 27 September 2008

Ah there you are!  Had a good summer?  Welcome back to the wonderful world of the DogBlog: the post match analysis that unfailingly summons the Vet into Veterans' Hockey.

Our season opener against our NPL rivals had an unusually sombre edge to it.  Since the end of last season, we had received the very sad news that Peter Ponsford, a loyal 'Dog for many years - the last of them not so long ago - had died suddenly.  Peter Taylor, Captain of the 'Dogs, called both sides to order just before the start and said some words in memory of Peter, after which both teams observed a Minute's Silence.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the game got off to a slow start. But it wouldn't have if the Desperados had taken full advantage of an early season example of that well known Bulldog tactic, the 'Old Testament Red Sea Defence' (...watch it suddenly part, then disappear).  This allowed our beloved GBB to have his first high decibel moan of the season. Perhaps he just wanted to make sure everyone had noticed his rather nattily different multicoloured kit: henceforth he shall be the GMB: the Grumpy Multicoloured Barrier - or, possibly, the Genetically Modified Ba..... [stop it at once  - that's your first literary yellow card of the season: Ed].

Anyway, the game to-ed and fro-ed a bit with Gordon looking more than a bit frisky for them. But then, but then, ha! Up popped Rajan in front of Simon Greenhill and whoop doobee dah dah dah - 1-0 'Dogs.  And so it stayed until almost half time.  Then they got a short corner, and (on the rebound, after a smart save from GMB) it was 'Boom: Gordon Scored, Chapter 1'.

HALF TIME: 'Dogs 1 Desperados 1

More to-ing and fro-ing in the 2nd half.  A couple of our newcomers - Nicholas and Joe - showed some promising touches and, while the Desperados looked like they would score, we looked like we might. And, for a time, 'might' was worth more than 'would'. Another newly recruited Golden Oldie, Andy, pinged us back into the lead. Only for them to get another short corner and it was 'Boom: Gordon scored, Chapter 2'.  With time running out, a slick move from the 'Dogs ended with Ben slipping the ball in from a narrow angle. Even as a newcomer, he launched himself instinctively into the much loved but all-too-rarely seen Late Bulldog Goal Horizontal Celebration - known colloquially as the Aagh - I Can't Move: Fetch the Ralgex, Please (come on, do I really have to explain that one?...). Surely we could hold on now?  Could we cr*p - we're talking Bulldogs here.  In the last minute, we conceded yet another short corner and well, all together now ... yup, you've guessed it.  With just a small but important deflection from Nigel on the post, to help it on its way in, it was 'Boom: Gordon scored, Chapter 3'.

And there, dear reader, it ended. 

FULL TIME: 'Dogs 3 Desperados 3

A game that in many ways explained our team names. We are the Bulldogs presumably because we can take a lead with difficulty but then let it slip. They are the Desperados because they were never ahead but still contrived, in extremis, to snatch a last minute draw.

So, honours even, after an entertaining and unusually good natured Bulldogs/Desperados game. To end as we started, it would be nice to think that somehow, somewhere, Peter Ponsford had been watching on approvingly and had been entertained by what he had seen.